Thoughts, Opinions, Gripes, and Grievances


Kian Pfannenstiel, Writer

It is common practice for me to write and reflect on odd thoughts, be they weird/random or deep/thought-provoking. This week, prepare to have this practice perpetuated.

If you’d like to find more of the perplexing hypotheses and ponderings, search no farther than this site:

If someone is born blind, do they see their dreams?

No. They don’t, because they can’t comprehend seeing light. However, if they went blind after seeing and remembering light, they will see their dreams.

If someone is born deaf, do they hear their thoughts?

Again, no, not if they are born deaf. They might think in the sign language of their choice, written language, or what they think it sounds like to talk (some deaf people learn how to talk, and can roughly estimate what their voices sound like).

Would Lightning McQueen buy life insurance or car insurance?

I’m not Disney/Pixar, so I don’t have the final say, but I expect that car insurance isn’t a concept in the Cars mythos, and instead they just have life and health insurances.

If the multiverse theory is true, there is also a universe where it isn’t.

Well, the multiverse theory doesn’t cover paradoxical universes, except in the universes where it does.

If Pinocchio said his nose was going to grow, what would happen?

That depends on your definition of a lie. If you believe a lie is any time you say something you know to be false deliberately, then no, his nose wouldn’t grow, because he can’t know the future and, by extension, can’t know if his nose is actually going to grow. If you are of the opinion that lying is deliberately saying something you don’t know to be true, his nose would grow, because he doesn’t know whether his nose will grow. Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter what you think constitutes a lie, it matters what the fairy who gave him life thinks constitutes a lie.

Once Elon Musk takes over mars, any baby born there will be considered a Martians.

Yup. The will. Nothing more to it.

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing unless you’re at a funeral.

Don’t make this mistake.

Is life really unfair?

If life is unfair to everyone, it becomes fair: everyone is in an unfair situation.

Cheesecake is secretly a pie.

Not much to say here. It is made the same way a pie is made, just given a dishonest name.

What if every country has ninjas but we only know about Japan’s because they’re so bad at being ninjas?

As dumb as I think this sounds, I suppose it is technically possible.