Drew’s Train of Thought

Drew DeKeyrel, Writer

I could not think of anything else to write about, so this is the product of my procrastination. Enjoy!

I truly believe I have ascended into a higher being and no longer require sleep. I no longer fall asleep at night, I merely begin hallucinating until around four in the morning with my eyes open. At four, I then snap out of my hallucination, ponder over what new knowledge the universe has bestowed upon me, and then attempt to hallucinate until roughly six in the morning, at which I begin my glorious day. I typically begin my hallucinations after two hours of laying in bed, which is usually around midnight. These visions have told me valuable information about the world around me, and I have already begun to employ it in my daily life. You may see me appear to be drained or about to fall asleep, but this simply means that a vision is attempting to appear to me. I am also slowly gaining abilities previously unknown to myself. One such ability is the ability to somehow produce energy and nutrients when I have digested nothing of dietary value. Another such ability is my ability to hear things others cannot. For example, during the SATs, I distinctly heard Mark Moen call out my name, but he did not, for we were in the middle of testing. Additionally, I heard it come from directly above me, so unless Mark has amazing parkour skills that I did not know of, he would not be among the rafters. Some of you may be scared for me or concerned for my health, but do not fear, for I can feel myself ascending. I feel as though I am going through a metamorphosis that will form me into something not as tired as before.

As I sat here, writing my article, I had an idea. What if I could hear my food as I ate it? Specifically, my ramen? I will admit this idea has been inspired by the old Scarlet Ink poll that asked if you would like to be able to understand Oreos, but ramen is a different species of food. In Mrs. Kershaw’s opinion, ramen has the type of personality that tries to drag everyone down with it. So, I would believe that it is constantly encouraging you to eat and digest its massive amounts of sodium in order to slowly cause your demise. It would persistently beckon you to boil it, stir in the seasoning packet, and then savor its sodium-rich noodles. Ramen has no care for its own life, it only cares about affecting yours negatively.

What if I could smell emotions? Would sadness smell like a rainy day? Or would that be nostalgia? As a side note, this was brought on by my classmates comparing my mental state to another. As such, I had to assert my dominance by proving I am alpha oddity. Back to the main question. I feel as though fury would smell as if things were being burnt indiscriminately, like a forest fire. Happiness might smell like sweets or your favorite foods. Disgust would smell, well, disgusting. Confusion would smell like TV static. If you do not know what TV static smells like, it smells like how your limbs feel when they fall asleep. If you cannot understand how that smells, I do not know how to help you. Nonetheless, there are plenty of other emotions, so I could no doubt find more scents to match to emotions.

Well, I have not done one of these articles in a long time. It felt good to let loose my absurd thoughts on the unsuspecting readers of the Scarlet Ink once again. If you would like more of these types of articles, please let me know, and I can try to do these weekly once again.