Rumors of Orion

Ryan Fowler, Writer

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Welcome back to Rumors of Orion!

This week, there is a supposed rumor going around that the Orion wrestling room is above a black hole, because time seems to slow down according to senior wrestlers Ray Herd, Camden Sellers, and Kyle Edmunds.

  • How do you think this came to be?

“Every wrestling room in US is built above a black hole because time is always slow in those rooms.” Ray Herd

“The extreme heat produced over the decades has produced a black hole that swallows time.” Camden Sellers

“The “75 degree” heat puts your mind into a delirious state and you lose the concept of time.” Kyle Edmunds

  • Since its above a black hole, do things ever disappear in there?

“My weight seems to disappear.” Ray

“My sanity disappears when Weston and his girlfriend Sharpy won’t shut up.” Camden

“My will to live gradually decreases with each minute that passes by.” Kyle

  • Do you think Diamond  controls how much the black hole slows time?

“No doubt in my mind, proven fact he always tries to stretch practice out.” Ray

“He definitely controls the time, everything seems to fall together perfectly.” Camden

“In a minute early, out fifteen minutes late.” Kyle

  • What goes through your head when you feel like time is being stretched?

“Well, I try to guess what time it is whenever I start thinking about it. So let’s say I guess that it’s 5:30. But in reality, all I have to do is subtract an hour from that time and that is actually the time.” Ray

“I mainly spend most of my time reasoning what time it could actually be. I basically do detective work based on things such as drills and water breaks to decide the time.” Camden

“Why did I come out for Wrestling?” Kyle

  • When did you first figure out there was a black hole slowing time?

“Freshman year, when I walked outside, it was only 4 o’clock.” Ray

“First water break of freshman year, I thought it was like 5:30 due to it being pitch black outside, but when I saw that it was only 4:00, I came to the conclusion of the black hole.” Kyle

All wrestlers agree that a black hole must be slowing time in the wrestling room. If you don’t believe them, go out for wrestling and see for yourself!

 

If there are any rumors you know about Orion High School, please leave comments for me to investigate!

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