1st Joke 

A defendant isn’t happy with how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time.

Judge: “Where do you work?”

Defendant: “Here and there.”

Judge: “What do you do for a living?”

Defendant: “This and that.”

Judge: “Take him away.”

Defendant: “Wait; when will I get out?”

Judge: “Sooner or later.”

2nd Joke 

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, Marc answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.