I recently learned that caffeine is a natural pesticide. So, if I drank enough caffeine, would bugs that bite me die? I’d basically be a walking bug-killer.

I’ve heard several people talk about how much they would love to be able to photosynthesize, like a plant, but then I realized that even if people could photosynthesize, we would probably forget to go outside and starve.

What if we could eat and digest food through osmosis? Imagine just holding your hand up against a steak and watching it slowly absorb into your skin. Sounds tasty, right? On the downside, we would probably start accidentally absorbing non-edible things, like brick walls or our phones. Probably not so tasty.

If your parents decided to fake an accent during your early years, while you are learning to speak, would you grow up speaking with that accent? Imagine what would happen if this happened and your parents spoke a fake Russian accent. “So, when did you move to America?”

“(In Russian accent) I have lived here my entire life, why do you ask?”

“Well, you have a Russian accent, so…”

“не беспокойтесь об этом (Don’t worry about it).”

Whenever I’m on long road trips, or even short ones I find annoying, I think about what could happen if we could just teleport there. At first, I think of how easy it would be to just go and grab whatever you need, legally of course. Road trips wouldn’t have to exist anymore. Then, I imagine all that could go wrong. You teleport to Casey’s to buy your daily 8 pops, 3 slices of pizza, and your 6 sugary snack items, but when you teleport, you suddenly find yourself in someone else’s car. Probably awkward, at least I’d imagine so. Another case that’d be awful would be if you teleported into the same space that someone or something is occupying. I would think that teleporting into a person would be the worst. Would you die? Or would you have to explain to the person you are now connected with why you are now connected  with them. Even accidentally teleporting into a wall would also be bad.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask why you are ordering your 20pc McNugget while partially merged with our ice cream machine.”

“I’m ordering while inside the ice cream machine because I can. Did you know that this machine isn’t broken? Crazy. Any other questions?”

“Would you like fries with that?”

I’ll be doing this article weekly, hopefully. This is going to sound stupid, but it was an idea I had and this entire article is based completely off of my weird and stupid ideas. Anyway, if you have something you’d like me to think about (what am I saying), you can comment it down below. Or don’t. I understand that this is a really dumb thing to ask of people.