Hot or Not: Senator Edition

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Jamie Hoxsey, Writer

Ok, I’m totally not just doing this because the other one is doing well. Hopefully I’ll have better luck with attractive dead senators. I know nothing about the senate and I probably won’t know who a single person on this list is so I’m going to be truly unbiased this time. But, without further ado let’s get into Hot or Not: Senator Edition.

Top 5 Uglies:

5.  Paul Wellstone

Why does he look like a character from Seinfeld? Or like your dad’s friend you’ve met twice and never actually know the name of but you would post him on Tiktok and for some reason girls would go crazy over him. I guess he’s not actually ugly but I just wanted to make the Seinfeld joke. Also he’s the only semi-recently deceased guy and I feel bad making it about people who like just died.

4. Alfred Bulwinkle

There were like 3 men in a row that all looked exactly like this and I felt the need to include it. I don’t know, though he just looks like every guy at Menards.

3.  Wilson D. Gillette

Why does this man look like he’s growling at someone? I’m like legitimately scared of him.

2. Sid Simpson

Why is he smirking at me like that?

1. Joseph Rider Farrington

Why is this mans a ghost? Like he’s dead but is he all right? A whole sleep paralysis demon.

 

Hotties

5. Steven V. Carter

No offense to butt chins but this is the first person I’ve seen with a butt chin that I’ve found attractive. I think it’s unrelated but…

4.

He just looks kind. I think he would cook me dinner.

3. Robert F. Kennedy

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I think this man is really ugly but I found out some freshman girls think that he’s hot so here’s this for you. Also when I inserted the photo the question marks just came with it and I think it really describes how I feel about him.

2. Merlin Hull

I think he would yell at me but in like a fun way.

1. Matthew M. Neely

HE’S SO FINE AND FOR WHAT?